Thursday, June 5, 2008

My Squats are Worth 5 Bucks Each!

Being a scientist, I like it when I can quantify things, when I can break things down to their unitary value, when things can be simplified in a way consistent with the rules of the universe. It is not always possible to do such calculations (either due to lack of knowledge, information, or both) but today I was able to quantify something new - the value of my squats.

Now, we all now the health value of exercising, eating right, and generally trying to lead a healthy lifestyle. I am sure that we could calculate the cost of buying organic food, gym membership, and the cost of the time spent exercising. We could compare these costs with the value of NOT having a heart attack (or other major health problem) and with the added income generated by living longer and (because America is in debt) working longer! Ok fine, but this type of calculation is loaded with assumptions and is better left to a social scientist of some sort.

Back to my squats. Today I went to the doctor for the first time since arriving in Paris. The reason for my visit was simple - I needed a medical certificate written by a doctor stating that my physical condition was good enough to run. It turns out that you cannot enter any running event in France unless you have your doctor's permission. Now, before I get to the details of my visit, let me take the opportunity to inform you that I, infact, went to the doctor stationed at my work yesterday for the same reason. Would you believe that since he is a "work doctor" he is only authorized to approve your physical condition to run for races 20km or less. In other words, he cannot even approve me for a half marathon!

So, that leads me to today when I am trying to explain to my "family doctor" (who, can approve me to run distances greater than 20km) that I would like to run in France and I would like his permission (all done in very broken french). So, since my "family doctor" is the only person capable of granting me this wish I thought that I would be put through a rigourous regime of exercise, or I would be attached to a fancy machine that would spit out numbers that nobody would understand but we would all muster an "oh, wow!" when we saw the results. But none of that happened.

This is what happened:
Dr: Could you please do 15 squats for me?
Me: Really?
Dr: Yes. Just like so (as he demonstrates how to do a 1/4 squat)
Me: Ok (as I proceed to do my squats)
Dr: Ok...you are ready to run.

Then we sat at his desk while he wrote an elegant looking letter, complete with letter head, and a big fancy signature that only a doctor can manage that grants me the priviledge to run in France for the next year! In France, you pay the doctor for your visit either by cash or check. The visit was 45 Euros just to get a fancy Dr's note.

I would like to add a brief side-note here, one that I will not dwell on. If there are that serious about avoiding medical catastrophe during their running events, perhaps they should look at people such as Ryan Shay to realize that this "screening method" is a complete joke...but I digress.

Since the visit ONLY involved my squats, I now know their value!
45 Euros / 15 squats = 3 Euros/squat ~ $5/squat.

So, next time you are in the gym bustin' out some serious reps, stop and ask yourself, "are these squats as valuable as Minken's?" I would be impressed if they were!!

I decided to do a little 7.5 mile cooldown run from my track workout last night. I find that it is often difficult to slow my body down the day after track - it still wants to go. I tried my best to keep the reins on tonight, but the run just slipped through my fingers as I trotted through the lovely Bois de Boulogne. The run went as follows:

7:07/7:23/7:14/7:19/7:19/7:15/7:18/7:14 (last 1/2 mile) min/mile

It was earily quite in the Bois tonight. I did not even see any tranny's...I guess they are getting their beauty sleep for the weekend!

As the French would say, A+ (ah, plus)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is interesting to see those interval graphs (in a way only a scientist or an engineer or a geek might appreciate). It would be nice to have a hrm to calibrate equivalent efforts in current Houston weather compared to more civil conditions.

I did complete the 5x1200m (4:10, 4:14, 4:13, 4:14, 4:10) last night. Total distance was 9.25mi. There was a little swearing and I had to give myself a pep talk at the end. I wasn’t sure how this one would turn out. I had a hellish day at work and wound up leaving at 7:10 to meet Scott at the track at 7:30. I changed in the car on the way and did not get my usual pre-run stretching done. Saturday is really going to hurt.

-JD

Koza said...

Just be thankful he didnt make you drop your shorts and bend over to see how fit you are!

I managed to get in 6.5 mi last night. I knwo the feeling of running faster an interval workout. My overall pace turned out to be 8:50, but I think the last two were closer to 8:40s. I was going to run 8 mi, but the sole of my foot was getting a bit sore. Time for new shoes today, or extra tape.

Tommorow should definitely be fun if Im in new shoes for a long run that includes 40 minutes of threshold! I guess that would be how the French say, well I cant remember, but it had some grunts and pffts...

Anonymous said...

Classic post! you have to love the simplicity of the Europeans (very caveman like).

Had you really been in a goofy mood, it would've been pretty funny to do one of two things:

1. in the midst of your exam, pull up lame after 12 squats. grab your hammy and scream in pain (a good opportunity to use some of those french profane words your coworkers are teaching you).

2. Tell him that you've never done more than 10 squats, and that you'll require a spot. wait for him to get into the proper spotting position, and then bust out a few reps (using the proper breathing technique).

see how much fun you can have with learning a new culture. And, this will ensure that you'll make it into the Doc's dinner conversation later that evening.

Jamie