Thursday, November 20, 2008

Nov. 20: TMI?

So, after over 30 years of negligance I finally broke down this week and did some "hair maintenance" on my chest. When I was living in the colder northern climates I found that it was quite advantageous to be born with a natural sweater...in fact a hairy chest such as mine was viewed as a favorable genetic mutation...kinda of like an 'X-Man' quality. I was even referred to by some common X-Men names such as 'Wolverine', 'Sabretooth', and 'Beast'. You can also thank genetically advanced people such as myself for the whole Bigfoot myth - look at all the entertainment my people have provided!

Then I moved to Houston where my natural sweater was no longer an advantage...especially during the hot 'n humid summer months. But this is when I started running and the resistance training proved to be invaluable! Infact, during hurricane season I could just stand outside with no shirt on and let my chest hair catch all the flying debris to keep my neighborhood safe.

Plus the Yeti was something new to the local Texan folk since it is normally found high in the Himalayas feeding on inexperienced ice-climbers and yoodlers. I proved to be an attraction...kinda of like the type you see at the circus (but not the good circus, the kinda seedy - don't bring your kids to the performance - type circus!)

Lately there have been no curious crowds willing to pay 50 cents to see me, the bearded lady, and sword-swallowing midget so I found that I was the one becoming curious...I was curious as to what my belly button actually looked like? I knew that it still excisted deep below the carpeted hair forest because I could still feel its general shape below the turf! To cut a long story short, I can now see my belly button!

Yeah...definitely TMI...and definitely another good day in Paris!
A+

3 comments:

Bert said...

Join the club. I would scare women and children if I didn't do some serious (hair) maintenance. The Sasquatch look is very much passe. Sorry I cannot do an 'accent aigu' with this keyboard...

Anonymous said...

The technical name for what you did is man-scaping.

Pony and Petey said...

Uh...no pictures with that story??? Come on!!

Pony = )